Childs Play
by shan14
Summary: Mike's daughter, Alyce, shows him that the woman he loves is standing right in front of him.
1. Chapter 1

A/N Don't own anything

--

"Mia" called Jackson loudly "Mia!"

The two year old ran through the house and up the stairs to his sister's room.

"What's wrong Jack?" asked his older sister Alyce, stepping out of her bedroom to the toddlers screams.

Jack frowned angrily as he continued his search for the missing girl, ignoring the four year old and running towards the spare room.

"Mia" he called out softly, stepping slowly through the door.

"Gottcha!"

The little boy squealed in delight as Mia lifted him high above her head, spinning him around before settling him on the ground.

"Very good seeking Master Jack" complimented the 20 year old, smiling brightly at Jack's dimples.

"Can I play?" asked Alyce tentatively from the hallway. Her blonde pigtails were falling apart and the older girl stopped to pull them tight before leading the children downstairs to the lounge room. Jack's eye caught the train set his mother had set up a few nights before and ran over to the tracks, forgetting the game of hide and seeks in exchange for Thomas the Tank Engine. From the kitchen the phone rang and Mia smiled apologetically at the four year old as she went to answer it.

"Hi Mike" she greeted with a grin as the familiar voice echoed over the speaker.

Jackson's head shot up immediately at the sound of his fathers name and together with Alyce he sprinted towards the kitchen to say hello.

"Daddy" he babbled breathlessly, hugging Mia's leg while holding a hand up towards the phone.

"Yeah, they're fine" nodded Mia, smiling down at the toddler as Mike enquired as to their behaviour.

"This afternoon? Yeah, they're your kids Mike" laughed the girl as Alyce's head shot up in anticipation.

"I'll see you then" she concluded, settling the phone back in its cradle. As she looked down, two pairs of expectant eyes met her own, each pleading to know what the conversation had been about.

"Is daddy coming home?" Alyce all but whispered, not daring to speak the words to loud in case she was to be let down.

"He's picking you up in half an hour" answered Mia after a pause, smiling as the children squealed once more. Alyce ran full bolt up the stairs, throwing clothes and toys into an overnight bag. Jackson on the other hand went back to his trains, tooting away happily as his locomotives left the station.

Exactly half an hour later two very expectant children stood side by side at the front door, bags and pillows resting against their feet. Jackson clung tightly to his teddy bear while Alyce decided between her care bears and rag doll; the rag doll winning in the end.

Five minutes later the doorbell rang and Jackson shouted something unintelligible out loud, pouncing on the figure that emerged as Mia opened the door.

Screams of daddy filled the small apartment as Mike rushed towards his two children, lifting them both up in a hug and kissing their foreheads whilst they rambled on about how much they had missed him.

"Daddy, I made a painting at preschool and got to go to Amber's house the other day and then I had dancing, and.." Alyce trailed off for a breath as Mike grinned over her head at Mia, watching both kids trying to inform their father of the past week in the same sentence.

"Did you have a good time at preschool?" asked Mike, softly placing Alyce on the floor in front of him and shifting Jackson on his hip. The little boy rested his head against Mike's shoulder and closed his eyes, exhaustion over the excitement of seeing daddy creeping in.

"And then I got to go to the park!" finished Alyce, throwing her hands around as her eyes lit up. She took a big breath and nodded at Mike, smiling sweetly before borrowing her head against his side.

Mike picked up the last of his children's bags before taking Jackson's hand. "We ready to go?"

Alyce nodded in agreement and ran over to Mia, thanking her with a hug and kiss.

"Bye Jackson" waved the young woman, stroking back the tired boy's hair. He smiled through the thumb placed in his mouth, yawning dramatically.

"Thanks for looking after them Mia" smiled Mike, he expertly turned the door handle whilst balancing Jackson before picking up the bags and carrying them out the door.

"We'll see you on Monday, won't we guys" stated Mike, earning a nod from Alyce.

Mia watched contently as Mike drove off with the kids, waving goodbye until they turned the corner.

Later that night Mike sat with Alyce curled against his side; Jackson, having fallen asleep earlier, lay snoozing on his chest.

"Daddy, why'd you and mummy not get married?" asked the four year old suddenly. She shifted to look up at Mike's surprised face.

"Was it cause you didn't love each other?" she questioned further.

Mike flinched at the question, trying to decide how to explain the situation to a four year old.

"Lyse" he began. He rubbed a hand across his face in frustration, knowing he could procrastinate all night and the child would wait for an answer without moving.

"Sometimes, when two people love each other, even if they have children, getting married isn't the right thing to do" he began.

"But how is it wrong if they love each other?"

Mike stared blankly down at the child, blinking at the simplicity of the statement.

"Well, sometimes they might have something stopping them" he nodded.

"Like what" deadpanned Alyce.

Mike sighed once more "Well, their jobs"

"Did your job say you weren't allowed to marry mummy?"

Alyce brown eyes widened in horror at the thought that her father's beloved job could be what was stopping her from having a family just like her friends.

"Not exactly sweetie" answered Mike truthfully "But, it does make it very hard"

"Why don't you stop your job?"

The older man stopped for a second to consider the thought. H glanced down at both children and though of their mother. Many times he'd wondered what would have happened if they had married when Alyce was born, would they still have separated or would Alyce have gotten her dream.

"Do you love your job more than mummy?" Suddenly the girls face screwed up in horror. "Do you love your job more then Jack and me?"

Mike's stomach fell as the enormity of Alyce's words hit him. He grabbed the girl's hand, rubbing it in comfort before placing a kiss on her forehead.

"Alyce" he started, praying that he sounded honest. "There is nothing and no one on earth that I love more than you and Jack"

"I promise" he added, smiling at the relieved sigh the four year old heaved.

"Just, sometimes even if a mummy and daddy love each other very much they can't live together"  
Alyce nodded quietly against her fathers side, leaning in for a hug.

"If you want to talk to me any other time you know you can sweetie. Even when your not with me I'm only a phone call away"

"I know" smiled Alyce. She sifted on the lounge to push herself up, climbing to the floor to get ready for bed. Suddenly she leant across and kissed Mike's cheek, unsettling Jackson on the way.

"Love you Lyse"

"Love you daddy" called the little girl, skipping away towards the bathroom.

Mike glanced down at the drooling toddler sprawled out across his chest.

"Don't ever doubt that I love you too buddy" he whispered, kissing the brown head lightly as a tear rolled down his cheek.

He fell asleep hours later with dreams of their mother plaguing his restless mind.


	2. Chapter 2

"He misses you"

Nikki raised an eyebrow over the café table, sipping her lemonade as the woman across from her bristled.

"He walks around like a lost child, not to mention he almost bit Spiders head off the other day for spilling coffee on his report"

Kate closed her eyes as a sigh escaped; imagining her ex running around like a lost puppy with a machine gun, ready to explode at any moment.

"He's not that bad, is he?" she asked weakly, rubbing the end of her straw though her fingers distractedly. She watched as Nikki grinned in reply, the navigator knowing that she'd succeeded in bringing her friend closer to reconciliation with the man she had sworn never to speak to again.

Her and Mike had meet years before; he as a lecturer at the course she was attending. The pair had hit it off, meeting for lunches and drinks which turned into movies and nights out, eventually ending up with her pregnant with their first child whilst house hunting.

Kate sighed dramatically at the thought of it all.

"We shouldn't have done it" she mumbled.

"Done what?" asked Nikki, already knowing the answer. She had been friends with Kate for years, throughout the time she had been seeing Mike through to the births of both Alyce and Jackson and the break up 7 months earlier. It hadn't helped her cause that her best friends ex also happened to be her commanding officer aboard, but after a period of plain ignorance of the mans existence she had come to the realisation that being in close proximity to both parties involved meant she could keep an eye on them.

Nikki considered it better than foxtel; ET thought it was meddling and the rest of the crew had so many bets placed on whether their captain would ever mend his heart that it was a wonder the crew worked so well together when under fire.

Kate had mumbled an answer into the folds of her jacket, resting her head against her arms which lay crossed on the table. Nikki simply patted her friend's blonde hair in sympathy, glancing at her watch to make sure they weren't to miss their movie.

"Movie starts in ten minutes" she reminded gently, withdrawing her hand and nodding towards the cinema as Kate's head poked up. She smiled grimly as she grabbed her purse, following the unusually perky brunette towards the dark entrance.

"Hey, Nik!" called a voice through the crowds, causing both woman to turn around. Walking towards the pair was Josh, a small boy hanging loosely off his arm and struggling to pull him backwards.

"Hey Josh" smiled Kate, not failing to notice the tension that appeared as Nikki smiled at the man. He grinned back at both women, swatting at the child, whom Kate remembered vaguely as his nephew, to free his arm.

"Can I talk to you Nik?" he asked, eyeing her hopefully. As the woman nodded in consent he ushered her into the crowd quickly, as far away from Kate as possible whilst making sure to not be inconspicuous.

"We have a problem" he stated, glancing around nervously as Nikki's face fell in fear. She nodded at him to prompt a continuation on the statement, noticing the man take a deep breathe before speaking.

"Kay, so as you can see I have Lachlan today, and he really wanted to see the new Disney movie" Nikki nodded, failing to see the problem with Disney animations in relation to herself "So, Swaino decided he'd bring Chloe along as well, seeing as she's nuts for princesses and all, and then it kinda turned into the whole crew finding nephews and kids to bring along"

Nikki gasped suddenly as she realised just how bad the situation had turned.

"And then we rang Mike, cause we knew he had Jack and Lyse and now he's standing just over there 'bout 5 metres away from you-know-who and I thought you might want a heads up" Josh blew out the breathe he had been holding, nervously waiting for Nikki to find a solution to his dilemma.

"What do we do?" she asked, looking up at him in panic.

Suddenly two very small, very loud voices filled the shopping centre as the Flynn children realised who else was there.

The crew of the Hammersley present for the outing, of which there were many, all turned in horror as Kate embraced her children happily, glancing up from the hug to where Mike stood before her.

"Mike" murmured Kate.

For a second the world stood still and as time ticked over no one dared to move for fear of what may have eventuated.

"How are you?" she continued, smiling as she straightened up, pulling Jackson onto her hip. Alyce attached herself to her mother's side, her small hands holding the jeans with vice like grip.

"Good" nodded Mike, smiling as the world returned to order.

"Mummy, daddy's taking us to see the movie with Chloe and Uncle Swain and Uncle Josh and his nephew and lots a' other people" grinned Alyce, looking up at her mother. Kate's eyes opened, sharing her daughter's excitement and asking what movie they were going to see.

"Nothing exploded" whispered Buffer to Swain, the former not bringing a child along but in not wanting to be left out had been promised a beer afterwards.

"Worlds still turning" agreed the man, laying a hand on Chloe's shoulder to make sure it wasn't an illusion. From behind them Charge rolled his eyes, sharing a look with his youngest daughter, who in claiming she was too old for Disney movies, had agreed to come along solely to see the younger members of her fathers 'adopted' family.

"Daddy" asked Alyce, looking between both parents "Can mummy come to the movie with us?"

Mike stiffened as Kate's glance shot towards him, trying to capture any trace of emotion in the stoic captain's face.

Nikki, for a brief second, along with Kate had noticed the flicker of hope that had crossed the it as he contemplated the thought of Kate joining them for the afternoon and whilst it had scared the latter, who believed the man no longer felt anything for her, it warmed the heart of the former, already entangled in a plan to reunite the Flynn family once and for all.

"I think mummy's going to see something with Aunty Nikki" answered Mike, rubbing a hand against his daughters shoulder in apology. In doing so he noticed how close he and Kate now stood and his heartbeat quickened involuntarily.

Meanwhile Alyce's soft brown eyes had widened in horror at the thought, so unaccustomed was she now to having both parents together and wanting to hold on to the feeling of family that she had missed out on over the past few months.

"Please" she hiccupped; each member of the crew holding their breath as tears formed in the little girls eyes. Alyce was the first of the Hammersley crew's children to be born apart from Charge's older kids and whilst Chloe had followed only three months later, the little girl held a special place in each person's heart as a reminder of what they fought for each day.

Nikki, the first to crumble where her god daughter was concerned, sighed at Josh before warily suggesting that her and Kate see their move another time and join the rest of the group for an animated afternoon. She winced as Kate's razor sharp glare found her, the woman however softening as Jack let out an excited squeal.

"I guess" she smiled at both children, her fear of being in close proximities with Mike settling at the look on their faces. That and the promise made by Nikki as the crew walked through the cinema doors that it would be dark inside and she could sit as far away from her former partner as she liked.


	3. Chapter 3

"Fear not young maiden, Sir Joshua the Valiant is on his way!"

Alyce squealed in delight as ET swung her up into his arms, galloping through the carpeted movie foyer away from his nephew Lachlan who had taken a shine to Alyce partway through the Disney film.

A roar of giggles, screams and laughter erupted as Lachlan and Chloe chased him round and round, Alyce bouncing in his arms as employees and costumers looked on in half amusement, half annoyance.

ET stopped suddenly as Mike's raised eyebrow came into view, Jackson, who was giggling from his fathers arms, trying to mimic the glare.

"Daddy, Lachie tried to kiss me!" exclaimed Alyce, swinging down from Josh's arms to attach herself to Mike's leg, glancing up at him with a grin only a daughter could pull off.

Mike raised his eyebrows further, this time in surprise, not anger; glancing towards the blonde headed boy peaking out from behind ET's leg. Little Lachlan Holiday had just received his first taste of overbearing fathers, and so he shuffled a little further behind his uncle's knee instead.

Jackson hung loosely from Mike's arms as he leant down to whisper in both children's ear, the secret message not being heard by the crew but causing both children to start giggling uncontrollably with their father.

It wasn't until Kate walked up behind Alyce and Jackson strained to be held by her that the fun atmosphere shifted, each crew members eyes trained on the interaction between the children's parents.

"Fall asleep again?" asked Mike, grinning knowingly at Kate.  
She scoffed lightly in return, shifting Jackson on her hip and grasping Alyce's hand, walking with the group out of the cinema's and into the street.

He grasped his daughters other hand in his own so that she stood dwarfed between the two, glancing between them as the match began; a verbal game of tennis that wouldn't end anytime soon.

"At least I wasn't obvious"

"What are you trying to imply?"

"Snoring Michael, you have a terrible case of snoring during movies"

"Never! My dear you have your facts twisted" he teased sarcastically.

"My dear? Where are we, 18 century England?"

"Well you're the one from Britain"

"I don't snore!" she deadpanned, ignoring his comment.

"I shared a bed with you for four years; I think I'd know by now"

A sharp silence fell between them as the first direct reference to their relationship, besides the obvious ones that being around their children brought, was made.

"Alyce, come to the toilet please" stated Kate blankly, off loading a rather placid Jackson in his fathers arms before stalking off with her daughter, the little girl protesting the whole way that she didn't need to go.

Mike sighed loudly, trying to avoid the knowing gazes of his crew and failing miserably. Instead he rested his head lightly a top of Jack's mop of unruly curls, the two year old snuggling into his fathers embrace.

"Messed that one up, didn't I bub" he whispered, heart aching to take back the words from moments earlier.

---

"Invite us back to your place" whispered Nikki quietly, nudging Swain with her elbow and causing him to protest in annoyance.

"Why? So they can fight some more?" he asked, rubbing his stomach in pain.

"Swain, look at him"

The crews gazes all turned to stare at Mike, the man now bending down near Jackson who sat brumming away loudly in a toy car, the kind that ordered a one or two dollar coin in return for a few minutes peace and quiet for parents, if they could pay the price.

"It's killing him to fight with her; he's so head over heels in love"

Nikki sighed deeply, barely containing a smile as she watched Mike turn to glance at the toilet's entrance one more time, obviously awaiting Kate's return.

She heard a cough beside her and turned sharply, eyeing the men.

"You disagree?" she challenged.

ET and Spider glanced between each other and Swain and Buffer shrugged their shoulders indecisively, Charge being the only one with any initiative on the subject laid a comforting hand upon Nikki's shoulder, nodding in agreement with her.

"We just know that it's going to take more than one night for Kate to come around, after all the two of them haven't even told us why they broke up in the first place"

Nikki sighed in understanding, not for the first time contemplating that exact thought.

"But we have to start somewhere" she pressed firmly.

She heard a reluctant sigh from behind and knew that she'd won the rest of them over.

"Fine" grumbled Swain.


	4. Chapter 4

Kate sat watching the moon shine brightly upon the Blake family back yard, glass of wine nestled between her hands as she sipped slowly, the faint noise of a Wii sports battle being played out in the lounge room.

"You okay?"

She jumped slowly, turning to watch Nikki slide closed the screen door and join her on the balcony.

"Yeah, I'm okay," she smiled softly.

Nikki's eyebrow rose, watching her friend with interest as she lowered her gaze once more to the backyard.

"Has it been weird," she pressed, "spending time with him?"

She sat still a moment. Starting conversations about Mike with Kate had always been tentative, the woman rarely giving away how she felt on the matter.

"Yeah, I guess," She sighed softly. "It was nice for the kids though, Alyce especially is still getting used to us being apart, so it was familiar for her to do something together."

Nikki nodded in understanding, staying silent; praying that Kate would chose to open up.

"It was nice for me, also," she whispered after a moment.

With a start she realised tears were dribbling down her cheeks and she batted at them in embarrassment. Nikki, feeling her discomfort, grabbed her friends hand gently, rubbing her thumb across Kate's fingers to stop her covering her emotions. It was so rare that she let her guard down and Nikki couldn't help but wonder if this evening she'd begin to let go of the feelings that had clouded her since the separation.

"Why did you break up?" she questioned slowly, feeling Kate's hand stiffen within her own before she began to relax, grip loosening.

"It was stupid, really," she mumbled. "I told him that it was for the best, we weren't seeing each other as much, becoming more distant. We could have stopped that, easily, but I was so afraid that I was going to stuff it up that I convinced myself ending straight out would be better than waiting for us to hate each other."

Nikki shook her head, squeezing Kate's hand.

"Why did you think you were going to stuff it up sweetie? Like you said you could have easily fixed the distance problem, and no offence but I've never seen a man more in love than Mike."

At these words Kate drew in a loud breathe, sobbing quietly as she shook her head.

"I know, but I was so young when I met him and then before I knew it I was pregnant with Alyce and then Jack and then it was 7 years later and I had no idea who I was or where I was going in the Navy. I knew how to be a mum but all my dreams from when I was younger had disappeared. And it scared me."

She shrugged softly, rubbed at her red cheeks and felt the salty tears drip through her fingers. It was hard, she realised, telling someone the truth. Letting it all out. But in all honesty it had been killing her, the decisions she'd made in the past, and she could already feel her mind clearing slightly.

"I went into NavCom one day, the kids were home with Mike, and I was talking to some guy."

At this Nikki drew in a deep breath, her hand tightening in Kate's and with a start she realised what her words had sounded like.

"No, god no, Nik. I could never, ever do that to Mike," she covered quickly, shaking her head. Her friend smiled softly, nodding hastily to apologise for even contemplating the thought. Truth be told she'd never believed either had been unfaithful, it was what had intrigued her so about the break. No one had any reason to believe that the two weren't happy.

"This guy," continued Kate slowly, "He was talking about his career. He must have been younger than me but already he'd had positions on Frigates and Patrol Boats. He was doing a stint at NavCom to help with some promotion for a position of Executive Officer, and I realised that this guy was living the life I'd dreamt of for 8 years."

Nikki was quiet a moment before leaning in to give Kate a hug.

"Oh sweetie," she smiled softly. "I get that, I really do, but I still don't get why you and Mike had to break up over it."

Kate buried her head in her hands, shook her head from side to side and mumbled out something.

"Because I'm an idiot. I got so caught up in thinking about what I'd missed out on that I began to resent him for meeting me, and making me fall in love and then I got so terrified, because I thought does this mean I regret the kids, which of course I don't, but I just didn't know what to do. I was so muddled up at that point that I truly believed the best thing to do would be to break it off before I began to hate him."

"Do you?" asked Nikki slowly, rubbing Kate's hand softly. Her friend was curled up in the chair, her head lying against her hands as she shook it.

"No, of course not. I could never hate him. I never did. I was just going through a faze where I had no idea who I was."

"And now?"

"Now? Now I realise that no matter how much I may have wanted to be that guy and running a patrol boat or living on a frigate, I don't want that any more. Now all I want is to get up each morning, get my kids breakfast, go do my job each day and then come home to Alyce and Jack. And Mike."

She sighed softly. "I miss him. And I could never hate him."

Nikki, heart beating frantically from all Kate had told her, nodded in encouragement.

"So why don't you tell him this?" she questioned softly.

"He doesn't want me back, you saw us, we can barely hold a conversation in front of the kids. I've stuffed this one up and I'll just have to deal with that."

"What, that you love him, still. Kate I don't know where you've been for the past 8 months, but Mike's still as in love with you as he's ever been. The poor man doesn't know how to cope without you and I'm pretty damn sure he wouldn't say no if you told him what you just told me."

Kate gasped slowly, shaking her head from side to side.

"No, no. There's no way,"

"Kate, sweetie, you're my best friend and I love you to pieces, but you're also a little blind. That man wants you. Trust me."

Nikki watched, slightly giddy, as her friend turned a steady shade of red, rolling her eyes in embarrassment.

"You love him, right," she continued without letting Kate agree, "So go tell him."

"It's not that simple Nik, what about the kids. I can't suddenly tell them one day sorry, mummy and daddy aren't really broken up. You can't just throw kids around like that."

"What, and mummy and daddy living apart is any better?"

Kate sighed in defeat. "I'll think about it," she muttered softly; couldn't help a smile as Nikki all but jumped up in glee.

"Promise me you won't give up on the two of you. Promise me. Yes?"

Kate blushed once more and curled up in her chair, nodding her head with a grin as a surge of adrenaline rushed through her.

God, she realised, she was really going to do this. She couldn't quite believe that Mike could still see anything in her, but it was killing her not having him to go home to or to hold her at night.

She smiled softly; she'd just have to be brave.

---

Josh glanced up in question, watching his girlfriend wander through the screen door, smile gracing her features. He turned from where Mike and Buffer were battling it out at Wii bowling, gripping her round the waist to spin her gently towards the kitchen.

"What's got you grinning?" he asked, stealing a kiss before she batted him away. She still leant up against him, much to his delight, as her eyes sparkled in mischief.

"I just spoke to Kate," she murmured, careful of the prying ears in the room next door.

"And?" questioned the man eagerly.

"She's still head over heels in love, just like Mike."

She watched as Josh's brow crinkled in confusion, not quite comprehending how the two could be separated if they felt that way.

"So…why?"

"Because they're both idiots, and that's all you need to know," rushed out Nikki. "However, you do know what this means, don't you?"

She grinned, a sure sign that nothing good could be in store.

"No, Nik. Leave them to their own personal business."

She scoffed gently, ignoring him.

"This means," she continued, "That it's up to you, me and the guys to get them back together."

She was practically bouncing by the end of this statement; clear sign that there was no way Josh was escaping this. He sighed softly. The poor captain had no idea what was coming his way.

---

It was well past 11 o'clock when Mike finally noticed Jack crashed on the lounge. His small face was pillowed against Kate's leg as she sat, sifting her fingers through his tufts of blonde hair. She looked relaxed, he realised with a smile, though there was something playing on her mind.

He walked towards her slowly, intercepting Chloe and Alyce, currently engaged in Wii warfare against Lachlan, before crouching down by Jack's feet, brushing a hand across his sons back with a smile.

"You want to take them tonight?" he began softly, watching as Kate's face met his in surprise.

"It's your night, isn't it?" she asked in confusion. She smiled softly at him before he shook his head.

"It's alright, your place is closer and Alyce looks like she's about to crash as well."

He laughed quietly, watching his daughter spin round whilst trying to ward off a yawn.

"Remember the time she tried to stay up all night?" questioned Kate softly, stomach curling in delight as Mike laughed again. She loved watching him smile, his dimples, the way his lips curled up on one side when he grinned deliberately.

She found herself watching him and had to tear her gaze away, trying to pick up on what he was saying.

"Hey," she intercepted, "Do you want to come back to mine tonight? Help me get the kids settled, maybe have some coffee?"

She froze instantly as the words left her mouth, silently cursing Nikki for putting ideas in her head, before noticing him staring at her oddly.

She blushed, watching his lips curl up in that grin; her stomach melting at the sight.

She had no idea if tonight would be a good idea, but by the way he was looking at her, barely tearing his gaze from her face, she began to wonder if Nikki was right.

Maybe there was still a chance.

---


	5. Chapter 5

"Out like a light," he grinned, accepting the mug of coffee she passed towards him.

"Jackson give you any trouble?"

"I may have read the Hippopotamus book three or four times, but we got there eventually."

"The one about cake?"

"The one and only," he smirked.

She giggled softly, drawing her feet beneath her small frame to curl up on the couch.

Mike paused a moment, about to have taken the spot beside her, before realising the intimacy of that position and taking the seat behind him. He sat stiffly, drawing the mug to his lips every so often, as he took in the minute changes to the house.

She'd bought an extra bookshelf in anticipation of Alyce starting school next year, and the light over the kitchen sink had been fixed. A fresh paint of coat adorned the lounge room walls and he was certain she must have bought new mugs, not recognizing the one resting in his hand. There was still the half built table he'd started months earlier though, propped up against the sliding door on the verandah and the patch of grass the kids played on was looking slightly over grown.

He gestured to it, asked if she wanted him to take care of it in the morning and she glanced up, startled.

"What?" she asked, eyes wide as he realised she hadn't heard him. To his confusion she blushed deeply, and he wondered what had caught her attention so that she'd missed his words.

"I asked if you wanted me to mow the lawn," he explained, grinning crookedly as she glanced out the window. Her eyes grew once more as she took in the state of the backyard; only slightly visible in the light cast from the kitchen window this late at night.

"If you'd like," she replied simply, and he wondered how on earth she was finding this conversation simple.

"I could do the table too," he ventured. "If you'd like," he added hastily.

Once more she merely nodded, a small smile accompanying the gesture and sending his thoughts into a twirl. She hadn't been this relaxed with him in months, since last year, he realised with a start.

"Kate, is something the matter? You seem a bit distracted."

Her cheeks blushed red, the colour sinking into her skin as he watched her intently. His stomach was flipping ridiculously, trying to keep up with her.

"We never really got time to talk, did we?" she asked, watching him carefully for any signs that Nikki's prediction wasn't true. Or any that it was.

He heaved a deep breath, pausing to pick up his empty mug and twirl it in his hands, before breathing out.

"You were pretty adamant that you wanted me gone, I didn't really think you wanted to talk," he admitted finally; couldn't help the slightly bitter tone his voice took.

Kate felt tears sting at her eyes, the harshness of his admission portraying just how much she had stuffed everything up.

Maybe if they'd stopped to talk they could have solved this without months of ignorance in between. Maybe if she'd stopped and thought a moment about what she was giving up, who she was hurting (Because it was never just her; never just Mike. There were two small children upstairs who's hearts she'd broken and she'd never forgive herself that) she could have avoided the heartache and the awkwardness that accompanied them both.

It took Mike a moment to realise Kate was crying, tears dribbling down her cheeks as she wrapped her arms around her legs.

It wasn't often he saw her cry. There had been the occasional movie and that one time Jack had been so sick they'd rushed him to hospital. When she'd first been pregnant with Alyce he'd been sick with worry about the amount of tears she wept, though she'd assured him that was merely hormones and didn't count. Those few times she had cried, when the world had gotten too much, he'd been the only one to see, and even then all he could do was hold her tight and tell her all would work out.

Now he felt his arms ache to hold her, his breath catch as endearments and promises leapt from his throat to be silenced by his mind, and the end result left him feeling broken.

"Kate, what's going on?" he managed to choke out, blinking rapidly to rid himself of the image of her shattered face.

"You don't make mistakes, do you?" she murmured quietly, so soft he barely heard but for the deafening silence in the room.

"Of course I do Kate, you know more than anyone that I do."

She shook her head defiantly, sobbing as the tears broke from her chest.

"Not like this, you could never hurt people you loved like this."

He ran a hand through his hair, leaving it spiked on ends, frazzled like he felt.

"Kate?"

"No, stop," she stated firmly, and he had trouble telling if she were talking to herself or him.

"I need to tell you something, and I need to say it rationally otherwise it won't be true, and I realise that you'll probably hate me after this, and that you probably already do."

He had to stop himself telling her how far from the truth that was; if only to make sure her words didn't stop.

"Because I've stuffed everything up so badly Mike, and if we were just two people that had been going out a year it wouldn't be so bad. I could tell you this and we'd find a way through it and emerge the other end. But we're not. We're two adults with kids. We have children, Mike, and I've been so selfish to drag them through this wreck of mine. And you, you didn't deserve any of this."

By now his head was spinning a mile per hour, trying to decipher what on earth she could possibly be saying.

They hadn't dealt with the break up, not really. She'd asked him to leave and he'd gone his way, to startled to do anything but leave her crying on the doorstep one evening. There'd been fights after that, raging rows that solved nothing and still left him wondering what on earth had happened and why he still was aching with love for her. Because through everything he'd never understood why she'd called it quits. He never knew where he stood in her life so he'd given her the house, without signing anything over, agreed to see the kids without any legal interaction. For all intents and purposes they were the only two aware of the break, his letters still turned up in their mailbox and they both held full custody of their children.

That's what happened when you weren't married, when you broke up no body was concerned but the pair involved. And in their case the two sleeping bundles upstairs.

"Kate," he began, interrupting her mid stream. "Tell me what happened eight months ago. Why'd this turn out the way it did, because we're eight months into this break up and I still don't understand why it happened in the first place."

She paused a moment, mouth open, tears dripping, before nodding in agreement.

---

It was a long evening.

She explained the distance she had felt – the distance he admit had been plaguing his thoughts for months beforehand too. At least in that regard they were both guilty.

She told him of the meeting at NavCom and he, like Nikki, had stiffened before she'd explained, and whilst it hurt a little that he thought she might cheat on him, she really felt she had no right to indignation, not now at least.

He listened mutely as she went through her state of mind, the doubts and fears she'd harvested for well over two months as the issue kept growing bigger and bigger.

In the end her reason startled him. He expected that she'd stopped loving him, expected that she'd found someone else, or that she wanted out instead for her career.

He never expected that it was none of these reasons, that her fear of resenting him and turning their house into a place of screaming parents was what had driven her away before anything had even happened.

He didn't speak; couldn't when she sat there shivering with tears and the truth, and it wasn't until she drew a shuddering breath that he could glance at her finally.

His resolve broke and he felt his head drop to his hands, his body shake as the reality of the last eight months of his life came into focus.

"Do you still feel that way?" he asked finally, face holding no anger or resentment, only a bone chilling loss that shook her to her core.

"No," she stated firmly. "I think I realised within a week of you leaving that I'd been full of shit for the past two months and that the world I thought was crashing done wasn't. The world only crashed down when I realised I'd lost you."

"Why didn't you say something Kate. A week? Seriously. Don't you think I would have ran back the moment you told me all this back then?"

He couldn't help the accusation creeping in this time, the fact that this could have been solved if they'd merely spoken to each other causing his stomach to flip violently.

"I thought you hated me," she murmured finally, staring at him with clarity. It unnerved him, seeing her like this, but at the same time it felt a little easier to breathe, knowing she'd regretted their break just as he had.

"I could never hate you Kate. I thought you must have stopped loving me, or had fallen in love with someone else, and even through all that I never hated you."

He heard her mumble something as she buried her face in her hands. "I really stuffed this up, didn't I."

"We, Kate. Yeah, you made some pretty crap decisions that lead to all this, but like you said I'd been distant too and I never once stopped to ask you what was going on. Either one of us could have stopped this continuing and neither did."

"Stop being rational," she muttered, smiled gently at him for the first time in what felt months, and he couldn't help but smile back.

"Come here," he sighed, and held his arms out.

It was if she'd been given the go ahead of life, the way she collapsed against him, curling up to his chest like Alyce would before wrapping her arms firmly around him. She was still shaking but then so was he, and for a while all they could do was sit, holding each other.

---

It could have been hours later when he finally loosened his grip on her, rubbing her back gently to signal he had something to say.

"What do we do now?" he asked and watched her smile crookedly.

Both had been awaiting the question.

"Now?" she began, "We need to figure out what we want to happen."

His mouth gapped open as he crinkled his brow. "Well, what do you want then?" he asked, chuckling gently at her clarity. Obviously this was something she'd thought over quite a bit. He paused a moment and pondered just how long she'd wanted to fix this. About as long as he had, he realised.

Kate mumbled something unintelligible against his shirt, leaning her forehead against his shoulder before glancing up to meet his eyes.

"You, mainly," she admitted finally.

She felt his fingers tighten against her back and resisted the urge to whimper as he leant closer.

"What do you want?" she murmured back, licking her lips.

"Same thing I've always wanted."

---

It was approaching three am by the time they finally stopped talking. Kate's head was laid against his shoulder, his arm curled around her figure and his fingers running up and down her arm.

She'd refused to kiss him earlier, much to his fear, until she'd explained that she was concerned she wouldn't stop and then they both agreed that for the sake of their sanity they'd have to take this slow.

"What do we tell the kids?" she asked finally, well aware that come tomorrow Mike could change his mind, but wanting to have some sort of plan in case he didn't.

"I don't think we should tell them yet. Not till we know for sure."

He felt her stiffen slightly and he went to explain, the shaking of her head cutting him off mid thought.

"I get you, I'm still not quite believing that you can trust me after the mess I've made."

Mike chuckled slightly, not quite understanding himself. "I trust you Kate, yes I'm concerned that down the track this might come up again, but I hope that if anything does spook you or I again, we'll know to talk about it, not freak out."

"That is rational," she mumbled finally. "Since when are you the rational one in this relationship?"

There was the momentary pause, rush of giddiness and blushing of cheeks as they both realised that they were attempting a relationship again.

"I've always been the rational one dear, it was just always safer to let you think you were the sane one."

"Oh really?"

"Yes really."

"Well, my insane mind is telling me that we should probably try and get the kids used to seeing us together again before we spring any news on them. Agreed?"

"Is this some ploy to get me over for dinner or something?"

Kate blushed brightly, burying her face against his shoulder.

"Yes, actually, though I was going for lunch."

"I can do lunch, as long as you promise to have dinner with me next week."

"Like a date?" Kate asked, slightly incredulous.

"Yeah like a date," he grinned in reply. "If we're going to do this we're going to do it the right way. It'll give us a chance to talk without kids running around, then we can figure out where this is really going."

He watched her watch him skeptically. "Mike I don't think you took me on a date the first time round," she finally muttered.

"We went to the movies," he objected, slightly wounded.

"Once, and only because you complained when Nikki wanted to see it with me. That, sir, was not a date," she paused a moment and pretended to consider him.

"I will, however, take you up on your offer. I'm feeling a little light headed at the moment, I think it'll be good to discuss this all again," she added, serious now.

Mike nodded in agreement.

"So, lunch tomorrow," he began to stand, and Kate realised with a pang that he was going home.

"Yeah, I'll see you then."

He went to grab the coat he'd left lying on the kitchen bench and Kate trailed after him dolefully.

"It's very late," she noted, watching the clock tick past 3:30. "Sure you don't want to crash upstairs?"

Mike paused a moment and considered her offer. He smiled softly.

"As much as I'd like to take you up on that, I don't think I'd be able to sleep having you that near me," at this Kate blushed, inwardly cringing at the amount of blushing she'd done that night, before blushing once more that the thought of everything.

Mike smirked and leant in to kiss her on the cheek "I'd best be getting…"

"Home?" she supplied after his pause.

Mike smiled happily, that deliberate smile that never failed to get to her.

"I'd best be getting back to the apartment I've been sleeping in. I'm coming home tomorrow Kate, for lunch, remember?"

With that he kissed her once more, this time on the corner of the mouth, and she was left gaping at the door, nearly collapsing against it as he bounced down the path towards his car.

Kate blinked steadily as he waved once before driving off, realising with a start that he was taking this dating thing seriously.

He was trying to woo her, and so far he'd succeeded greatly.


End file.
